oh hey guys. i can’t remember the last time i posted actual words… my bad. but seriously. what is new? well i got a new car!! which is fantastic. seriously no other words describe it except that it is rocking my world. so much different from my other shit hole. what else in good news… well i’m moving in with an old family friend jennifer next year. which i think will be really good. we get along, we’re friends, but we also have separate lives. plus she’s just as committed as i am to finding a place and we both have the same tastes. and one place that we did find is AWESOME so if we do get it i will be ecstatic it’s so pretty. so that’s good. i was going to move in with colleen but she’s so flaky i cant trust her. she never follows through so i never know if shes serious about wanting to live together or not and still hasn’t fully told her current roommate she wants to live w me. she keeps beating around the bush. no thank you.. which leads me….
to ashley. to ashley who has this dream man that she sacrifices everything for. but lately it’s been going ok we had dinner twice last week (once w her bf) who is a perfectly nice person. but she lied to me about his age. he’s 12 years older than her. which lets just say doesnt exactly make me feel comfortable hanging out w him. like oh hey grandpa… (jk. but not really) anywho we were supposed to get a pedicure tonight. we’ve had it planned for a week and she promised me she’d try harder to spend time together because we’re friends and hanging out is important because we DONT see each other all the time. and nine times out of ten she cancels but i believed her when she said shed try. low and behold… we’re NOT getting a pedicure tonight. am i WRONG to be upset? i’m just so sick of not being worth peoples time. because people always cancel. colleen.. ashley. notice a pattern? and they do it without a second thought. and trust.. ashley has a boat load of excuses as to why she does it and none of them are her fault but most of it is mine. but IS it my fault? that i want to see her and value her friendship and the time i spend w her? i’m not trying to paint me in an angelic light while shes the devil but i just dont understand. why do people think it’s ok to make plans and then ditch them. it’s not ok. it’s hurtful and i’m so sick of it. i dont have a lot of friends so the time i do spend with them i dont want to have cancelled.
and if she’s not gonna change which she probably wont and i just “stop” being her friend well then i’ll be down to nothing. so do i just stop caring? idk what the answer is.