simply un-simple

so i had a paper due today and i started it today.. at four pm.. at work.. i feel slightly guilty. but it’s done and it’s at least semi intelligible so i’m not gonna complain too much. nor should the teacher. it’s at LEAST C work. b minus tho hopefully. but ugh. i’m just so sick of life right now. i need it to be tomorrow so i can go to my meeting about figuring out an online minor so i can work full time and not be so stressed out. and i should also probably call counseling services and make an appt to talk to somebody. and also i went to brians mom’s wedding with him cause he asked me to. and we kind of hang out sometimes. and that might be bad.. but right now it’s easy and i dont have time for anything else and i figure i’m young yet i have plenty of time to fuck myself up and then fix it and live a happy wonderful life.. IF thats the case. not saying it has to be but that if it is.. then fine. idk life never happens how you think it is so i’m trying not to overthink.

that awkward moment…. when i met at my internship almost a month ago and i was supposed to do a bunch of stuff and haven’t worked on any of it. hopefully i can finish up some stuff tomorrow and over the weekend. i mean i will. but i feel like such a failure. life is just so hard and all i want to do is lay on the couch and watch tv. eff school and work and everything elseeeee.

I would just like to say that every day i end up making a list of stuff i need to get done.. and about 20 percent of it does. the rest of the time is spend doing god knows what. prison break cannot take up 80 percent of the time but shit.. i never get done what i really should be getting done. lord knows how much time it would take for me to actually do ALL my homework because my list includes only top priority stuff and the rest is procrastinated to the last possible second. that is how i do.

(Source: feministactivistpacifist)

first of all… if i could have blake livelys hair i would literally have no problems in life. second of all i have to learn to dress my body like kim and khloe kardashian and jlo. cause they do have good bodies and if mine look more like that than a super skinny twig then i should be damn proud.

so i’m currently writing a paper on one of shakespeare’s earlier plays loves labors lost and i’ve only skimmed about the first ten pages. hahah. i mean seriously thats pathetic. the fuck does everyone else in my major do? because i seriously do not have time to read EVERYTHING i’m supposed to read. but who cares. i dont have to. i can still sound semi smart. and in my major authors course, we have response papers for each book but we can choose to not do two of them and won’t be penalized. so.. that means i dont have to read two of the books. just show up to class and look enthralled. i dont talk anyways and technically if i do want to talk i still can just say something intelligent about life in general. BOOM,  anyways got off track. even tho i dont want to read the shakespeare plays.. i will watch the movies.. and i’ll be fine. genius! that way for exams with going to class and watching the plays.. i should be fine. 

seriously? 

i just have to remember no matter how hard life is, it will all be worth it. it has to be. and in all reality.. it’s NOT that hard. i have it pretty good. except for the constantly overthinking and obsessing and being anxious about stuff that i can’t control so why even bother? 

i just really want a full time job. i’m seriously considering taking all online and night classes next year in order to get a full time job. it would make paying bills so much easier and once i do have to get a car i want it to be a reliable at least semi nice looking one.. and that means a car payment. 

all i want to do is graduate.. but i know once i do all i’m gonna wanna do is go back to school. because the real worlds scary and if i don’t have school to piss me off then something else will.. student loans. fuckkkk

so i would just like to share with everyone my awesome vday plans. and they go as follows

well first working out so i don’t gain a 100 more million lbs. but i’m pretty excited because i’ve decided to invest in a planet fitness gym membership. i’ve been boycotting it because of the free gym membership my school gives me that isn’t even free since it’s factored into tuition which is a bajillion dolla. anyways thats why i’ve never been cool w spending money on an outside gym. BUT if i go to planet fitness i can go after work (which is when i’d rather go) AND I can go tanning and get a healthy glow going on so i dont like like a fat white ghost. which isn’t a good look for anyone

anyways. vday. tomorrow i’m getting a manicure/pedicure and going to victorias secret to buy underwear and the prettiest/sexiest bra i can find. i got my taxes back. they will be well spent. and then i will be going to see safe haven. best plans EVER. retail therapy all the way and it works like a charm.