first of all. SIXTY SEVEN days until I am in mexico. WHAT!? that can’t be true but it totally is. i can’t handle it. but i am so glad it’s happening. that means like fifty ish days until the end of the semester? maybe even less? which yes thank god because this semester is killing me but until it’s over it’s not going to get better. i have economics homework now on top of the stas, accounting, english, and business homework i already have. econ has math. didn’t know that. so that sucks. accounting is a rare form of torture and business is just plain boring. if i honestly stayed on top of everything i think i’d be doing a solid fifteen hours of homework a week. reading chapters, math problems, studying, quizzes, exams. seriously who invents this stuff? DOES it make us better people? or more specifically.. will it make me a better person? i want to be a librarian. i couldve done anything in undergrad as long as i get the degree that’s all that matters. but that basically means my undergrad career doesn’t matter at all. im hoping it’ll HELP me with grad school and with becoming a librarian.. but there’s no guarantee it will. i went to a librarian conference with my cousins and it was fab but so overwhelming. being a librarian is serious business. it’s a lot of pressure. and it made me jealous because everyone there WAS a librarian! i just wanted to be like hire meee nowwww. but with the semester ending that means i have only one more semester until i graduate. THAT is scary. and that means pretty soon i need to get really serious about actually putting in the grad school app that means filling it out writing a statement getting my references together getting my transcripts together taking the miller analogies test. then once i get accepted i have to figure out financial aid.
this part of life is not a good time. i hate how everyone says omg your college years are the best years of your life don’t waste them enjoy them! they’re fucking NOT. i spent 90 percent of my time thinking about what i need to do NEXT stressing over what step i have to take today to reach my over all goal. who do i have to talk to, what paperwork do i have to fill out what meeting do i have to go to, all to become what i want to be. and then theres weekends spent drinking and getting the worst hangovers ever and wasting days away in bed watching netflix. IDK. what does it all mean? or theres the part where i spent my whole librarian conference not even thinking about my career but thinking about the fact that i wanted to find myself a librarian HUSBAND. seriously? what is wrong w me? actually what i want to do is go to grad school and find myself a hot tall dark handsome man workin on his phd. yes. please.
but seriously. being a twenty something year old woman is hard. our bodies are changing and we have no choice but to accept that because some parts of our bodies just won’t be how we want them to be. no matter HOW hard we try. we have so much pressure. school becoming business women of some sort so we can MAKE something of ourselves and prove to the world we can work and caretake and clean and cook ALL at the same time. all in one day. on top of that our minds are so emotionally centered that we spend probably all day every day thinking about everything under the sun and stressing about it all even tho we pull it off flawlessly somehow. we are seriously superwomen. we deserve an award.