i am so excited for this weekend.. and only four days! they should go by fast due to the constant reading i’ll be doing, mixed in with some work, working out, and prison break.
friday- work/homework and south african wine and stories w lucas
and saturday- visiting my bestie roomie ever! i miss good ‘ol stevens point
i will get good grades in my classes even if it kills me.. even if i have to spend 90% of my free time reading.. even if my head hurts all the time.. it will happen.
dude.. so stressed. and i swear on everything i am the weirdo that is not normal. i don’t even know how to explain it and i dont feel like even trying but there it is. i also worry way too much about shit.
i am gonna have so much reading this semester it’s gonna be ridic. it’ll pay off though and i’m gonna be super proud by the time summer rolls around..but shit. i am overwhelmed. four novel classes. i have like twenty- some books. i haven’t counted yet for exact numbers. but for my english novel class she said to expect 200-300 pages a week, and then i have a shakespear class which is pretty self explanatory. i mean it’s shakespear. i think its 5-6 plays though. and then i have a prose fiction class which will be awesome because its all contemporary writing like extremely loud and incredibly close by my fav professor. and then a major author class and its melville. which while it won’t be awesome it will be interesting and informative and make me a better english major. so i guess i’m all for it. and for the cherry on top i have a three hour night computer class. WOO. i’ll be living the life this semester. NOT. i’m already emotionally exhausted though and its only the first day. i mean i like class. i like listening to people but i’m just not the type of person who can raise my hand and spit out this genius thoughtful response to a question. i need time to think and process. thats why i like blogs. you can think and you can write really deep meaningful things. IDK. i’ll survive. and college is not real life.. so its not like i have to be all that impressive and awesome it’ll be over eventually and i’ll have to worry about real life.
dude.. i just looked up my body mass index and i am literally the highest weight in the normal category, a half of a point more and i would be OVERWEIGHT. wtf is that? idk why the past few weeks i’ve been obsessing so much over my weight. its so pointless. because i’m. not. fat. and i need to realize that. or. here’s a little idea, i need to get my ass to the gym and work out. the weight won’t just disappear as much as i’ve been hoping.
i went to buckle today to try on jeans because i’m too fat for the ones i have now (of course) and the stupid girl has me try on 178$ ones. i didn’t want to go above 100. THANK YOU. and then she goes and we tailor them for free. cool.. i didn’t buy them. but i kind of want to.
you know what really makes me happy? making lists, and planning stuff only to do NONE of it. i had a whole week of stuff planned that i wanted to do that included trying out a few recipes, painting a quote onto my nightstand, working out, ect. and guess what i did? i ate fast food and watched greys anatomy every day before and after work. wtf!? annnd for my internship i’m supposed to be typing this written story and she gave it to me a few weeks ago and i haven’t started doing it. i feel so guity. and so lazy. and so angry. i must start tonight. and POUND it out because if she finds out i’m not at least half way done she’ll probably be pissed and she doesnt have to do this for me. this is entirely volunteer based. i cannot mess it up. FOCUS. focus focus focus.
